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Keywords:

• we're chasing vodka with high-fives

Comment: awkward

Keywords:

• get out of your relationship

Comment: and into my pants

Keywords:

• i'd do horrible things to your vagina

Keywords:

• like a hot chick that ain't no fun

Comment: powerfulpomegranate, used with permission

Keywords:

• i vaguely remember telling people

Comment: bestsword

Description: that they were not trash cans

Keywords:

• he passed out

Comment: awkward

Description: i tried to set his chest hair on fire

Keywords:

• i never thought i would get head

Comment: awkward

Description: to the lion king soundtrack

Keywords:

• i can't turn off my feet

Comment: awkward

Keywords:

• i do what i can to inject something

Comment: awkward

Description: into your life everyday. today, humor. saturday, penis.

Keywords:

• you poured your drink on yourself

Comment: awkward

Description: and then said "it's not a party unless i'm wet"

Keywords:

• lets just not talk today

Comment: awkward

Description: bc then we'll just do dangerous things but i'll still say "hello"

Keywords:

• i feel like after that many guys

Comment: awkward

Description: all the water in your body is just replaced by pure jizz

Keywords:

• listen it's not like i meant to bust

Comment: awkward

Description: the window. it just sort of happened

Keywords:

• bad end

Comment: guiltypleasuretrashblog, used with permission

Description: don't sleep with swords

Keywords:

• the effect you have on my penis

Comment: guiltypleasuretrashblog, used with permission

Description: from a different state is impressive